I tried to think of the last time that I didn’t attempt to define myself. When was the last time I didn’t navigate the world through a label, a title, a defining agenda, or with hyper awareness of my confines. How much of our labeled characteristics are meant to comfort us versus restrict us from reaching beyond them?
A piece like this is actually difficult to write for someone like me who has navigated life trying to convince themself that nothing poses a threat against them. “I’m completely free, I can do whatever I want, nothing defines me” and for some people this is true. For me, it’s the power of affirmations in creating a state of delusion so that I can persist and exist.
Our barriers and confines are based in truth, technically. Whether or not you’re able bodied, the weight you carry (physically and metaphorically), all of the -isms, capitalism, geography. I’m just tired of living by them. For every thought that you have had about something that you want to do, your initial thoughts are excited, enthused, and passionate, but once the idea sits and you breathe reality into it, all of a sudden it becomes smaller and smaller in your mind. What if, can I actually, is this possible? Where do these doubts originate? What is the common denominator? It’s the societal standards and barriers that infect you with too many reasons why something may not be feasible. Society is limiting and we know that for a fact considering reasons that I’ve already alluded to and more. However, the world that we create in our minds by internalizing these societal “values” is the real master that we serve.
We don’t know a world outside the one that favors white and the able-bodied, let me make that clear first. This isn’t a thought that doesn’t start with that truth, and I would encourage you to think beyond that for the purpose of this moment. For now, let’s just focus on perception.
Conjure up your dream right now. Taste it, follow the train of thought to the very end where success is so real you feel it as if it is your now. Look at it as an outsider, feel it as your own, and claim it to be possible, no matter what. That’s because it is. It’s our internalization of what we think to be a barrier to cause the barrier. When I said I live in delusion, this is what I actively reject. This is what resistance is. Believing otherwise no matter how much “truth” is in what someone else deemed to be a fact. How many historical moments and discoveries were created out of delusion? All of them. Beating the odds and “surviving despite” are not miracles. Miracles are what the losers framed these wins to be to brainwash everyone else to think that more is impossible than what actually is. We allow the world to limit us, and most of the time, it isn’t our fault. Our world is rigid with rules and oppression is an advanced tool. In more words than needed, I’m basically saying anything is possible. The confines and limits society framed each of us with are simply perceptions of strong values, and I don’t want them to trick you into thinking they are truths. As regular as you are, your dreams are only as extraordinary as your commitment to resistance.
Read this while listening to Pink Matter, Frank Ocean.
Written for Flawed Talents, LLC.
Beautifully said. I believe stumbling upon this was no accident. I needed to hear, or in this case… read the confirmation. Thank you for taking the time to pen your thoughts.
It makes me happy to my core that you felt like you needed to read this. I’ve been there and revisit that feeling all the time. I’m with you