and even if it does, sometimes you need to step backwards to propel forward.
In March 2021, I thought I was set. I secured a job in tech in a non-technical role with incredible work-life balance, unlimited PTO, and a financially stabilizing salary. Was I happy? Mostly yes, but no. I enjoyed back to back travels, the balance gave me space to be creative in my free time, I was able to move, reach new savings goals, and think beyond just my needs. So why was I unhappy?
I’ve been attending a lot of networking and creative events lately, and something that I came to terms with is how incredibly scared I am. It’s as simple as that. Change is scary and uncomfortable. I’m not talking about manageable change either. There’s moves that we make that qualify as change but that don’t really make our hearts race. I’m talking about the decisions that have your chest in a knot, your thoughts racing, your body going cold, and you feeling hyper aware of your vulnerability. That’s how I felt when I quit my job and decided it was time to stop lying to myself about wanting a creative career.
A “creative career” is completely relative and subjective. I know that for me, I’m not talking graphic design, but I know that storytelling is at the core of my creativity. I’ve always wanted to write, capture moments, and be in creative spaces. Honestly, you don’t have to put yourself in a box or a creative label, just be mindful of what parts of the process truly bring you joy.
At these events, I sit in rooms inspired by others who have the same energy and ideas as I do, but they take themselves seriously. They walk into a room and introduce themselves as journalists, producers, creatives, and I’m looking at myself like well, what’s the difference? Once you see that in yourself, you cannot unsee it. You can look away, but you cannot unsee it. The more you avoid yourself and suppress the person who you want to be, the more internal tension you build. Internal tension without solutions or acknowledgement rots into unhappiness over time. So what do you do then?
- Network. I finally understand that it’s 50% what you have to offer and 50% who you know. Having a marketable, in demand technical skill (video, writing, product, etc.) and then pitching the hell out of yourself is basically how you accomplish it. All jokes aside. That’s it. Actually do the work, but also put the work out there. No one can see what’s in your notes or photos.
I saw the ugly in myself this year for real, but like in a healthy way. You know what I realized? I don’t like looking like I need help. I’d truly rather figure it out myself than for someone to see me lost or lacking. This is incredibly unhealthy and A LIMITING PRACTICE. I would genuinely rather pluck my lashes out one by one than practice such an isolating, non-collaborative approach like that one. Your peers are your resources: they’re an ear, a focus group, an executive committee, a model, an opportunity to translate an idea to a tangible thing. Do not isolate yourself in your creative process.
Also, if you’re a friend or someone who has opportunity to offer, respond to your LinkedIn messages, DMs, and emails. I’m sorry if anyone disagrees, but if you’ve unlocked a door and someone asked you how, you have nothing to lose by sharing. We each have our own creative energy and no one can replicate anything you have exactly because it’s unique to you. Also, don’t post that you’re offering opportunity and then leave people on seen.
- Ask for help. Ask to hear how someone got in their positions and learn from their walks of life. Humanity thrives from community, inspiration, and collaboration especially in the creative industry.
Sometimes, you need a blueprint to follow even if it’s lightly penciled. I needed to see what my options were to know what best fits me because I had no idea what felt like “me” until I got out there and started experimenting.
- Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for trying new things and experimenting with identities. We are never finished products and you are allowed to change whenever you please. Your “changes in identities” is your own experience, your burden to carry, and not something to be ashamed of. You are the designer of your life, you are the creative director on set every morning when you wake up to produce your lived experience. If there is anyone in your life too rigid and unsupportive to let you experiment while you’re finding yourself, let them go. Invite flow into your life and space to make mistakes.
Me sharing this is letting you know that the advice that you think everyone is giving you on meeting new people is actual truth. Stop thinking that it’s crap and go do it. Ask someone for coffee in your desired industry, send the same message template on LinkedIn, Instagram, TikTok, wherever to set up 30 minute intro calls. Make a small pitch (who you are now, where you want to be/what you’re interested in, why, your skills + lived experience, how they can help) and PITCH IT. Pitch the hell out of yourself. If you don’t believe in yourself and know you’re the shit, how can you expect anyone else to believe that for you?
