The most powerful thing that you can do is investing back into yourself. That isn’t to say that giving isn’t as important. Yet, I think that there is nothing wrong with consistently prioritizing yourself, and this is what makes a lot of people uncomfortable. It’s not narcissistic, arrogant, or righteous to put yourself first at all times. Your life depends on you. It depends on how you eat, breath, sleep, behave, think, and exist. In the framework of adulthood, you should always put yourself first. It is possible to absolutely possible to be “self absorbed” and be mindful of how you affect other people. The two are not mutually exclusive.
What does that look like for you? If you didn’t have to think about any needs outside your own, what would be the first thing that you do everyday? If no one else demanded your time, attention, and awareness and it all belonged to you, how would you spend your day? My goal is to have a seamless, wholesome answer to this question and the first step to that is being alone.
Traveling Alone
Solo travel is considered to be so complex, and I just don’t think so. There’s perceived obstacles that keep us where we are because we are scared to wander alone: financials, safety, language, barriers, fear of the unknown, and although a lot of these are grounded in truth, I am here to tell you that everything is within your ctrl. The reasons why you think you can’t all have very clear solutions and alternatives.
“It’s too expensive”
you could go to Coney Island or Far Rockaway Beach for $2.75 (or $0…) and stay there for the day walking, thinking, writing, existing.
“Traveling by yourself is dangerous, especially for a woman”
existing is unsafe. walking down the streets of NYC are unsafe. it’s the same thing in any state, country, etc. There are ways to be mindful, strategic, and aware of danger in a safe way.
Those are only two examples, and arguably I could think of a million things that someone could say contra to my points to play devil’s advocate, but I do not care. Solo travel is within anyone’s means because it literally means going somewhere alone. I convinced my co-worker to do a self retreat. We analyzed her internal dialogue and concluded that she actually knows nothing of what she wants and only follows what she thinks she should want according to societal standards. She thought she had to be the perfect “it” girl living in a NYC sky rise, making techtoks, or recording morning routines everyday. Is that what you want though? If that’s what you want, okay. How can we make that your reality? If not, then what is the point of that being the comparison and the standard. Now she’s roaming the streets of Boston and staying at a cute ass hotel for a few days thinking about who she is, what she wants, and where she’s going. That’s what I’m talking about. I love that for her.
Internal Dialogue & Self Reflection
The voices in your head do not make you crazy, and they are not always true. It is a blend of your fears, subconscious mind, learned behavior, and attention. If the voice is constantly telling you things that put you down or don’t feel joyous, it’s time to change your internal dialogue.
“How are they more successful than I am?”
“I am not good enough”
“That is not attainable”
There are all beliefs. They are not truths unless you believe them to be so. You are the creative director of your own life. I went snowboarding this weekend in PA and it was emotionally laborious. For anyone who has been and who is still a beginner, it’s hard as hell. I spent half the time on the ground and had to get all the way down the mountain because we took the lift all the way to the top. Each time I fell and knew I wasn’t yet learning the technique, I felt so defeated. Honestly, I wanted to walk the rest of the way down. It was exhausting, I was over it. I didn’t understand how people did that shit for fun. I realized that every time I’m not excellent at something immediately and it requires a little work/practice, I want to give up on myself. I’m ambitious and want lots of things, but I am not always willing to suffer through growth for it. I’m done doing that. I’m ready for the discomfort of growth.
Quick deep thought intermission for great eats and views in Pennsylvania
What you say to be true will actually be true. If you think you could never get the apartment or house that you want, the job that you want, the health that you want, the joy that you want, it will never be true because you don’t believe it to be. If I said I will never reach the bottom of the mountain in one piece, it would have manifested to be true. Believing and wanting allows the universe to hear you and deliver for you. Believing and wanting allows you to be constantly aligned with your needs and the life you live. It gives you the control of always knowing what you desire and knowing that when you desire something, you are not in lack, it just has not arrived in your hands yet. You own it. You are your future self. If you don’t believe your future self can have things, you will never have them. This is what people call the laws of attraction and manifestation. It all just comes down to joyous thoughts and belief in yourself.
My one-millionth solo date at a coffee shop in BK
Take a walk alone. No need to book an entire trip, but if you can then you should. Maybe try Houston? I loved it there and had so many joyous thoughts through my itinerary. The point is to remove yourself from your regular environment and ask yourself if you believe in yourself. If you could do anything, what would be that be? If you get stuck, think to yourself what does my lifestyle look like. When I wake up, what do I see? What do I feel? Where am I? Your wants should frame your lifestyle. You are not confined wanting “small” because you think your lifestyle cannot afford it.
You can afford it. If you are your future self, you can afford it.
For example, I want to live in Costa Rica for a month. My future self is living that right now. It is happening, therefore I believe it will happen eventually. How do I arrive there? Save money, research, plan, book a flight, and then I arrived there. Believing it can happen allows me to visualize what it would look like. If I can visualize what it can look like, I can outline the steps I take to get there.
Manifestation is not just aligning crystals in the sun’s rays and saying a mantra. That is a fraction of it. It’s what you say in the mantra. Do you day dream about yourself and who you are? Do you day dream about who you can be? You should.
